Google Analytics , of course, is the powerful, free metrics tool provided by Google itself. But since all the smart user interface people work at Apple and all the English majors work at Facebook, the user interface and linguistics of Google Analytics need some translation. Here's my tongue-in-check explanation of the left column in Google Analytics, click around and read my translations on what these elements really mean. Google Analytics - (Un)Lost in Translation Google Analytics ~ Are we there yet? Who came to our party? Why did they come? What did they drink? Did they leave without paying? Demographics ~ Did old people visit our site? Men, women, children, or people from Florida? Interests ~ Really amazing stuff about your visitors, that if you enable with the nifty, updated tracking code you still won't really see, because Google Analytics ain't Facebook, people. Geo ~ Strange word in Google Analytics for what language your visitors speak, and their location, wh...