Monday, April 16, 2018

How to Get a Negative Review on Yelp - the Chik-fil-A Way!

This is how companies get bad Yelp reviews. Step one. Offer breakfast (which, to be honest, is very good as "fast food" goes at Chick-fil-A), but only serve it to 10:30 a.m. on Saturdays. Step two. Have an employee literally run out at 10:30 am and flip the signs to lunch. Step three. Be so popular with your breakfast that you have a pile up of cars in the drive thru. Step four. When a car pulls up at 10:32 a.m, having literally been the "next car in line," tell the occupants - Sorry! It's lunch time now (10:30 in the morning for LUNCH?), and that it's too bad. They can't get breakfast. Step five. Let said occupants sit in car for about 5 to 7 minutes while they wait for the other folks ahead of them to get their food, and let them listen to the cars behind them bark into the drive thru - WHAT? NO BREAKFAST? You're kidding me. Step six. Let said occupants, drive hurridly through the drive thru (without getting any food), and be starving while they go in search of another breakfast joint in Fremont that - crazily - serves breakfast at 10:31 a.m. on a Saturday.


Rinse and repeat - every Saturday from now until the Second Coming.

Oh, and fail to have any systems to improve this process such as: a) simultaneously serving breakfast and lunch from, say, 10:30 to 10:45 a.m. to let the line clear, b) posting a VERY CLEAR sign in the line that if it's 10:31 a.m. you will either get lunch or nothing. SUCKER, or c) having a real person come out to the line of cars and flag the last car "eligible" for breakfast.

Yes, my friends, this is how an actually pretty good fast food restaurant gets a bad review on Yelp as it is hoped that the owner will read this and take some relatively easy steps (see a, b, and/or c) above to remedy the situation.

Oh, and in case you're there prior to 10:30 a.m., get the breakfast burrito with chicken and the coffee. Both excellent.

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Position Zero

Position zero occurs often on "questions with answers." It's very conversational:

Here's an example for "Does car insurance cover theft?"